Terms of Service
Welcome, fellow dopamine junkie
By being here, you agree to this ridiculous legal document, whether you actually read it or not (and we know you probably didn’t). By using this website, you promise not to sue us for things you don’t like here. If you don’t agree with these terms, calmly close your browser, step away from your keyboard, take a deep breath, and go for a short walk, eat a jar of peanut butter — or whatever you do to chill the hell out.
Dispensary rules
While you’re hanging out here, don’t be that person. This means:
- No trolling, unless it’s really funny.
- Please refrain from spamming, hacking, or pretending to be James Van Der Beek.
- Don’t feed the squirrels living in our server. They’re already tweaked out of their minds on dopamine and cookies.
- If you find and report a typo, congratulations, we might hire you as our new proofreader.
- If you find and report a bug, we’ll most likely fire our development team.
Content is ours, unless you think it sucks
We created this content with our own sweat, tears, dopamine, and copious amounts of bourbon caffeine. If you steal it and claim it as your own, we will find you and make a hair doll of you from the hair we harvest from your pillow while you’re sleeping. Okay, not really, but we’ll probably be super annoyed, and no one wants that.
External links
We might link to other sites. Some might be cool, most, weird. We can’t be held responsible if they lead you down a strange internet rabbit hole and you end up buying an alpaca on impulse. Care and feeding is 100% your responsibility, so please don’t send us a demand letter for financial support because of your lack of impulse control.
No guarantees
We make no promises that this site will be available 24/7 because, let's face it, the internet breaks sometimes. And if it does, it might be our fault — but more than likely it was probably your cat sitting on the keyboard.
No liability, zero responsibility
In the event that our site causes you to have indigestion, overdose on dopamine, have an existential crisis, or argue with your spouse about whether cereal is soup, we take absolutely no responsibility. Use this site at your own risk — preferably with a shot of bourbon and a sense of humor.
Termination of fun
If you break these rules, or if we just don’t like your vibe, we’ll kick you out. No warning, no appeal, no regrets. And no auto refills of dopamine.
Edibles Cookies
Yes, we use edibles cookies. Not the tasty ones your grandma gets baked on bakes, but the little digital trackers that help us spy on you improve your experience. Here’s the deal about cookies:
- Eating Cookies: We wish we could offer real cookies, but sadly, we’re just talking about data. If you’re still craving actual cookies, here’s one of those links we referenced above.
- Tracking Cookies: We use them to see what you like, what you don’t, and what weird stuff you search for at 2 AM.
- Denying Cookies: You can block them if you want, but we’ll judge you. Also, the site might not work as well, and you’ll probably miss out on our curated collection of cat GIFs.
We can change this whenever we want (but probably won’t)
We might change these terms at any point, for any reason, or for no reason at all. We don’t have to tell you when we do it, but if we feel generous, we might. Or not. Honestly, who knows? Keep up if you can.
Complaints?
If you’ve got complaints about this site, indigestion, or just want to yell at someone, good luck. If you do manage to contact us to submit a complaint, expect an eye-roll emoji and maybe a GIF of an alpaca ignoring you. If you send cookies (the edible kind) (not that kind of edible) (ok we may actually be ok with that after all), though, you might get a really amazing response.